I usually go to General Conference with a question or a problem in mind. I also take my own notes, a lot of notes. Not only do the notes help me to focus on all that I’ve heard and felt, they also serve as powerful memory tool for me.
I had been preparing for weeks what issue I was going to take with me this time. Sometimes there are several issues that need addressing, but this time, I felt that there was an over-arching theme that would put my other concerns to rest. And what is that issue, I hear you ask? It is simply this: I have a really difficult time liking or loving myself enough to stop putting myself down. Don’t get me wrong. There are many things about myself that I love and cherish. I actually think it’s pretty awesome being me – most of the time. The trouble is, because of abuse throughout my life, I have ‘learned’ to put myself down as a safety mechanism to prevent others from doing it, sorta like ‘beating them to the punch’. I also know that it doesn’t work, but it’s just been how I’ve dealt with it. So, for this General Conference, I wanted to know how my Heavenly Father sees me, so that I can see myself through His eyes and truly embrace myself, no matter how broken I feel. I want to see myself through His eyes.
Imagine my utter breakdown as Sister Elaine S. Dalton, third speaker at the Saturday morning session, began her talk with the first portion of the oft repeated Young Women’s Theme ‘We are daughters of our Heavenly Father, who loves us, and we love Him.’ As she continued with a powerful talk about our identity and our divine parentage, I was filled with the Spirit and overcome with emotion. Most particularly, I was blown away by the statement:
She understood who she was and whose she was.
I am now determined to make that my personal motto until the truthfulness of it has sunk in. The entire talk, with a renewed call to virtue and her conviction in the scripture calling us to ‘Stand as witnesses of God at all times and in all things and in all places’ were the very things I needed to hear to bolster my own conviction in these beliefs.
I cannot think of a single talk at Conference that didn’t instill in me a desire to renew my efforts to become a righteous, productive and fulfilled daughter of God. But, it was Sister Dalton’a talk that reminded me that I am a daughter of God and that I matter. Her talk renewed the desire to ‘bloom where I am planted’.
I am ever so grateful to Sister Dalton for her powerful testimony, that through her, my petition for validation from my loving and eternal Father was answered.
As always, my experiences with this General Conference have instilled in me so much anticipation for the next Conference. It just keeps getting better and better!
I want to finish this post by adding my testimony to the many I have heard this weekend. I know that God, our Father in Heaven, lives. I know that His son, Jesus Christ, is my Living Redeemer. I know that the Savior’s miraculous and holy birth, His Atoning Sacrifice and His Resurrection are absolute truths. I know that I am theirs and that I am loved of them. In the sacred name of Jesus Christ, Amen.
Musings of a Daughter of God 